Man Checklist
I talk to ladies all the time about how they feel about the men they are dating. Many times we are less than satisfied in the relationship but continue in the hope of what might be something wonderful.
In my quest to Be Smart, I developed a tool to help my head realize what my heart already knew. Take a look at the attachment.
Make a chart
Once you list your current men or all of the men you have ever dated. Use your scoring system to see how they stack up against your criteria.
I did this with a very good girlfriend of mine. She evaluated the man she was currently dating whom she thought might be “the one.” He scored miserably against the criteria she developed. Six months later with two wasted years and many hurt feelings under her belt she finally left him. The highest scorer on her list was a man she considered a great friend but had never been her lover.
A man who I was absolutely in love with and scored the highest of the men I evaluated on my chart did not love me the same way. We broke up. I was heart broken. A guy whom I dated off and on scored the lowest of all of my evaluatees. I promptly got rid of him. He was always the fill in boyfriend when no one else was around. The situation was not healthy for either of us. It was a decision that I should have made long before I brought the chart into existence.
I listed the above examples to let you know that I am not prescribing this chart like a miracle pill. It is simply a tool to try to make sense of the men in our lives.
Let me know how this works for ya!!
In my quest to Be Smart, I developed a tool to help my head realize what my heart already knew. Take a look at the attachment.
Make a chart
- Across the top list the things you want in a man (this is my criteria for “the one.”). I don’t recommend more than 10 items.
- Down the side list the names of the men you would like to evaluate.
- I use a scoring system of yes, no, maybe with a few variations. You could use 1-5, A-B-C or anything else that makes sense to you, just be consistent. Use the same criteria for all of the men which you list down the right side of the chart.
Once you list your current men or all of the men you have ever dated. Use your scoring system to see how they stack up against your criteria.
I did this with a very good girlfriend of mine. She evaluated the man she was currently dating whom she thought might be “the one.” He scored miserably against the criteria she developed. Six months later with two wasted years and many hurt feelings under her belt she finally left him. The highest scorer on her list was a man she considered a great friend but had never been her lover.
A man who I was absolutely in love with and scored the highest of the men I evaluated on my chart did not love me the same way. We broke up. I was heart broken. A guy whom I dated off and on scored the lowest of all of my evaluatees. I promptly got rid of him. He was always the fill in boyfriend when no one else was around. The situation was not healthy for either of us. It was a decision that I should have made long before I brought the chart into existence.
I listed the above examples to let you know that I am not prescribing this chart like a miracle pill. It is simply a tool to try to make sense of the men in our lives.
Let me know how this works for ya!!
Total Comments 1
Comments
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great idea! i tried it and i just need a new round of men to date apprently! lol. i found a different quality/criteria that's important to me in each person, but none of them have all, and i guess that's what i need for "that one". i told myself that i would no longer settle. i guess that's why i'm just dating for now and have nothing serious going on, bbut i need to stop wasting my time and re-evaluated things.
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Posted 12-17-2008 at 02:13 AM by k-butterflyy
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