http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blog.php Blackhairplanet.com your black hair care forum for long hair care, natural hair care,and African American hair tips. en Fri, 05 Dec 2008 07:54:43 GMT vBulletin 60 http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/images/misc/rss.jpg http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blog.php http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/162-man-checklist.html Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:15:31 GMT I talk to ladies all the time about how they feel about the men they are dating. Many times we are less than satisfied in the relationship but continue in the hope of what might be something wonderful. In my quest to Be Smart, I developed a tool to help my head realize what my heart already knew. Take a look at the attachment. Make a chart * Across the top list the things you want in a man (this is my criteria for “the one.”). I don’t recommend more than 10 items. * Down the side list the names of the men you would like to evaluate. * I use a scoring system of yes, no, maybe with a few variations. You could use 1-5, A-B-C or anything else that makes sense to you, just be consistent. Use the same criteria for all of the men which you list down the right side of the chart. Once you list your current men or all of the men you have ever dated. Use your scoring system to see how they stack up against your criteria. I did this with a very good girlfriend of mine. She evaluated the man she was currently dating whom she thought might be “the one.” He scored miserably against the criteria she developed. Six months later with two wasted years and many hurt feelings under her belt she finally left him. The highest scorer on her list was a man she considered a great friend but had never been her lover. A man who I was absolutely in love with and scored the highest of the men I evaluated on my chart did not love me the same way. We broke up. I was heart broken. A guy whom I dated off and on scored the lowest of all of my evaluatees. I promptly got rid of him. He was always the fill in boyfriend when no one else was around. The situation was not healthy for either of us. It was a decision that I should have made long before I brought the chart into existence. I listed the above examples to let you know that I am not prescribing this chart like a miracle pill. It is simply a tool to try to make sense of the men in our lives. Let me know how this works for ya!! I talk to ladies all the time about how they feel about the men they are dating. Many times we are less than satisfied in the relationship but continue in the hope of what might be something wonderful.

In my quest to Be Smart, I developed a tool to help my head realize what my heart already knew. Take a look at the attachment.

Make a chart

• Across the top list the things you want in a man (this is my criteria for “the one.”). I don’t recommend more than 10 items.

• Down the side list the names of the men you would like to evaluate.

• I use a scoring system of yes, no, maybe with a few variations. You could use 1-5, A-B-C or anything else that makes sense to you, just be consistent. Use the same criteria for all of the men which you list down the right side of the chart.

Once you list your current men or all of the men you have ever dated. Use your scoring system to see how they stack up against your criteria.

I did this with a very good girlfriend of mine. She evaluated the man she was currently dating whom she thought might be “the one.” He scored miserably against the criteria she developed. Six months later with two wasted years and many hurt feelings under her belt she finally left him. The highest scorer on her list was a man she considered a great friend but had never been her lover.

A man who I was absolutely in love with and scored the highest of the men I evaluated on my chart did not love me the same way. We broke up. I was heart broken. A guy whom I dated off and on scored the lowest of all of my evaluatees. I promptly got rid of him. He was always the fill in boyfriend when no one else was around. The situation was not healthy for either of us. It was a decision that I should have made long before I brought the chart into existence.

I listed the above examples to let you know that I am not prescribing this chart like a miracle pill. It is simply a tool to try to make sense of the men in our lives.

Let me know how this works for ya!! ]]> mssnu http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/162-man-checklist.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/161-i-know-because-i-am-man.html Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:35:43 GMT by[/color]
http://www.blackplanet.com/IgotMe_UdoU/[/b][/color][/color]

The below was written by a man. You can check out his blog at the above URL. His words are what I try to remember when dealing with men and what I am always telling my girlfriends. Choa!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs(FYI. Dogs are actually loyal and dependent).

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

]]> mssnu http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/161-i-know-because-i-am-man.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/160-acne-prone-vinegar-honey-salt-trying-out.html Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:59:37 GMT Mix: Vinegar, honey and table salt (I tried sea salt but the edges of the grains scratch) I smooth it on my clean face with a brush. Let sit for 15 min. then rinse. If you decide to scrub while rinsing do it gently. After doing some reading on the natural ingredients which help acne I put together the above mask. This is the first time my skin has felt, dare I say, dewy. My skin is smoothing out like I have been using an AHA serum without the cost. If you try this, let me know how it goes. I will post my results after 2 weeks. Mix:
Vinegar, honey and table salt (I tried sea salt but the edges of the grains scratch)

I smooth it on my clean face with a brush. Let sit for 15 min. then rinse. If you decide to scrub while rinsing do it gently.

After doing some reading on the natural ingredients which help acne I put together the above mask.

This is the first time my skin has felt, dare I say, dewy. My skin is smoothing out like I have been using an AHA serum without the cost.

If you try this, let me know how it goes. I will post my results after 2 weeks. ]]> mssnu http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/160-acne-prone-vinegar-honey-salt-trying-out.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/159-hair-regimen.html Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:08:02 GMT Still developing a regimen, but this is what I do currently:

• Wash days are Sunday and Thursday
• Always Prepoo with OO and Conditioner
• Wash with Neutralizing Shampoo 2x per month
• Cowash all other washes
• Use ACV Rise (7:1) when scalp has buildup
• Current favorite deep conditioner: honey and coconut oil - sometimes add Aphogee Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor - sometimes sit under dryer
• After deep conditioner while wet apply to ends: oil mix of jojoba, castor and sunflower, gently comb thru with wide tooth comb
• While wet: wrap and tie down
• Hair style: wearing 3/4 wig, only shows front of hair[/size][/size]

]]> mssnu http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mssnu/159-hair-regimen.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mya_wannabe/158-refer-comment-blog-2-lol.html Sat, 22 Nov 2008 22:42:06 GMT just realized i posted my blog in comments!:D just realized i posted my blog in comments!:D ]]> mya_wannabe http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/mya_wannabe/158-refer-comment-blog-2-lol.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/teshura/157-wow.html Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:18:32 GMT I have always had what some people call good hair. if it is such a thing I belive all hair can be good. I just cut off all my hair. It was very long and I had a perm. It would go through it's sheding stages and I would be so sad watching it come out. I am sick of perming it and buying all the stuff for it to remain stright, when that was not where my heart was. I always loved the way natural hair looks. I was just to scared to do it until now. Pray for me ]]> Teshura http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/teshura/157-wow.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/ronnita/156-i-need-workout.html Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:31:58 GMT I need to workout. I have gained about 25- 35 pounds in college since I was 19 and I am 22. So every year I promise I will work out, lose weight, and get back in shape, but I never make it past a few weeks because I hate what sweating does to my hair. So maybe this time I will just have to have messed up hair for awhile because it is better to get my body back than have good hair. I need to workout. I have gained about 25- 35 pounds in college since I was 19 and I am 22. So every year I promise I will work out, lose weight, and get back in shape, but I never make it past a few weeks because I hate what sweating does to my hair. So maybe this time I will just have to have messed up hair for awhile because it is better to get my body back than have good hair. ]]> ronnita http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/ronnita/156-i-need-workout.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/bevel/155-tough-days-ahead.html Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:33:12 GMT My dd is pratically begging for me to put a perm back in her hair and I am furious!(lol)... I can only guess someones been talking and she heard 'em...my sis. for starters phoned me and asked why I couldn't do better by her... hair-wise...she's the only dd you have so make her look pretty and all that constructive "mumbo jumbo"....Yes invisible steam was rising even though I tried hard not to show it. But I'm grateful for the wake up call, she's right in so many ways....I'll just have to be consistent with her nicer hair styles (braids,etc).

I told her that she was natural and I didn't want her hair to "see" anymore chemicals...period. I did tell her I would try to do better with her styles though by hiring/finding someone to braid her hair at a "drop dead" reasonable price,ofcourse. I haven't been able to find my "sedu" flat irons since I bought them it seems. I told my dd that I would find a "pressing comb" or do whatever before I try the chemicals again...braids to me is the better choice though.

I only dread that her hair grows at a very slow pace...I don't notice growth until many mos. have gone...poor kid, she's hating herself lately because she doesn't like her hair....I thought I had her "sold" on natural....now guess I'll just have to have a little "gurly" talk to boost her self esteem again.

Whoa...A mothers work is never done....


"Peace n Blessings! ]]> bevel http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/bevel/155-tough-days-ahead.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/leentora/154-black-hair-chart.html Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:15:16 GMT Found this on the net, very cute! Image: http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee255/godzprincezz/shoulderlength-1.jpg Found this on the net, very cute!

]]> leentora http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/leentora/154-black-hair-chart.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/ego-extensions/153-we-happy-here-www-egoextensions-com.html Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:35:38 GMT Ego Extensions L.A.

At Ego Extensions L.A. we offer an upscale variety of Virgin Indian Hair Extensions and Lace Wigs. Imagine beautiful, soft, luxurious hair that you can color, wash and straighten and style to your hearts desire. Our Lace Wigs and Extensions are made of 100% Premium Indian Hair. Feel free to request Samples at orders@egoextensions.com, each request cost $15.00 shipping and handling .

Ego Extensions L.A. caters to an elite group of clientel. Hollywood's A -Listing Actors, Singers, Dancers and Models.

Our hair comes imported from India, with only the most beautiful strands being hand chosen. Take this opportunity to shop on-line for what people are calling the most "ELITE HAIR ON THE MARKET ". Have questions? Contact us at info@egoextensions.com. We are always here to service our valued customers. We pride ourselves in selling high-end, premium hair extensions that everyone can afford. So go ahead and indulge yourself....in Ego Extensions.

Ego Extensions L.A.

"When Your Hair Is All That Matters."
WWW.EGOEXTENSIONS.COM
CUSTOMER SERVICE 805-426-5227:) ]]> ego extensions http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/ego-extensions/153-we-happy-here-www-egoextensions-com.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/bevel/152-blogger-out-action.html Sat, 15 Nov 2008 00:04:52 GMT Seems I've been out of action for months here now. So much of "life" has happened plus I've been so consumed with my new craft..."hand crafting jewelry now (how relaxing and rewarding)....thank God I found something I more than love doing!


My dd still is going natural with long un-healthy strings of permed hair sticking away from her beautiful natural short hair.

She has pleaded for me to leave the long thin strings along. But little does she know each time I wash her hair afterward, I'm chopping bit by bit of her residual permed "strings". In the end the only healthy hair standing is her natural "kinks", it's hard to picture her hair so short now as a result of this perm transition (I know one day it will be well worth the "agony" though). However, her hair still seems to grow slowly as she grows.

As for my hair I haven't touch a perm since but I have tampered with the "sewed on weave" styles and a have a couple of wigs to wear over my natural braids. "Silly me" I know I'm not being true to the game....Covering my beautiful naps...lol.... (actually my hair seems a much better grade than ever before) and moisturizers really work wonders for dry hair.

Missed reading the posts and blogs and glad I sacrificed a moment to get back on my blog.

Peace and Love! ]]> bevel http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/bevel/152-blogger-out-action.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/151-hair-regimen-i-want-start.html Fri, 14 Nov 2008 11:19:14 GMT I want to use the following products on our hair:
Pure shea butter
Coconut oil Shampoo
Coconut oil Conditioner
Infusium 23 leave in teatment
now I want to only shampoo 1x a month and
Co-poo (I think Im saying this right) 1x a week
what do you guys think?
Im all ears because as Ive said before this is all new to me.I come from a long line of women who just dont care for their hair as the people here do they've just been lucky!!;) ]]> nnorwood http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/151-hair-regimen-i-want-start.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/150-now-also-my-new-beginning-11-15-08.html Fri, 14 Nov 2008 11:12:05 GMT Im also getting my hair done this Saturday.It started off because shes never been to a hair dresser in Annapolis,so i decided why not get mine done to I really need it! My hair is damaged from NOT caring for it as I know I should have.It was sooo beautiful 2 years ago.For whatever reason when Im stressed long term like a real worry that I cant figure out a solution for it takes my hair out.That worse part is I usually cant cover it up because it starts in the bangs.Ive just been wiging it. Well I KNOW Im getting a relaxer.Im just not ready for natural hair much less I know shes going to chop a lot off.Why is it that even though you know its damaged and dead why do we(some of us) want to hold on to it for dear life just because of the length? Its not even long lol!! Its just neck length and its uneven.I just dont want her to cut it in such a way I cant style it myself.I know its going to be a drastic change but I also know this is what I need then Ill start a new regimen for myself and my daughter!Wish us luck Ill keep posting updates:) Im also getting my hair done this Saturday.It started off because shes never been to a hair dresser in Annapolis,so i decided why not get mine done to I really need it! My hair is damaged from NOT caring for it as I know I should have.It was sooo beautiful 2 years ago.For whatever reason when Im stressed long term like a real worry that I cant figure out a solution for it takes my hair out.That worse part is I usually cant cover it up because it starts in the bangs.Ive just been wiging it.
Well I KNOW Im getting a relaxer.Im just not ready for natural hair much less I know shes going to chop a lot off.Why is it that even though you know its damaged and dead why do we(some of us) want to hold on to it for dear life just because of the length? Its not even long lol!! Its just neck length and its uneven.I just dont want her to cut it in such a way I cant style it myself.I know its going to be a drastic change but I also know this is what I need then Ill start a new regimen for myself and my daughter!Wish us luck Ill keep posting updates:) ]]> nnorwood http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/150-now-also-my-new-beginning-11-15-08.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/149-my-baby-girl-destinys-new-beginning-saturday-11-15-08.html Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:29:53 GMT This saturday Im going to the beauty salon, my daughter and I.Were having a mother daughter day.We both have been dealing with damaged hair just in different ways.Of course mine is more serious.She (who is now 9)had a beautiful texture of hair for the first 4 years of her life but for the last 5 years or so shes been swimming at least 5 days a week just about all day through the summer.Primarily because she spends her summer days there with all ther cousins.Well he edges have broken to what I call a headband and her hair is now not at all curly as it used to be and wont go back even in the winter!! Im taking her to get a treatment,trim, and MAYBE a texturizer.She actually crys when she has to get it done its actually a little nappy throughout. Im just going to see what the dresser says hopefully she can save it without chemicals but shes been to 2 others just for counseling and they say they cant see where it can grow curly again its just matured,,,wish me luck:( This saturday Im going to the beauty salon, my daughter and I.Were having a mother daughter day.We both have been dealing with damaged hair just in different ways.Of course mine is more serious.She (who is now 9)had a beautiful texture of hair for the first 4 years of her life but for the last 5 years or so shes been swimming at least 5 days a week just about all day through the summer.Primarily because she spends her summer days there with all ther cousins.Well he edges have broken to what I call a headband and her hair is now not at all curly as it used to be and wont go back even in the winter!!
Im taking her to get a treatment,trim, and MAYBE a texturizer.She actually crys when she has to get it done its actually a little nappy throughout. Im just going to see what the dresser says hopefully she can save it without chemicals but shes been to 2 others just for counseling and they say they cant see where it can grow curly again its just matured,,,wish me luck:( ]]> nnorwood http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/nnorwood/149-my-baby-girl-destinys-new-beginning-saturday-11-15-08.html http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/the-anti-hair-slave/148-oil-cleansing-sucks.html Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:53:38 GMT Okay, I know I wrote about how the OCM was the greatest thing ever for my skin, but it broke me out something horrible. At first it was great, then BAM! I woke up with tons of whiteheads and a few pimples. :confused: I'm not sure exactly what happened because this method has been so great for so many other people. It's not for me and I no longer do it! ]]> The Anti Hair Slave http://forum.blackhairplanet.com/blogs/the-anti-hair-slave/148-oil-cleansing-sucks.html